Negative and Positive Effects of Maintaining Kinship Ties
Lady Fatimah al-Zahra (peace be upon her), the Great Truthful One, in her famous funeral sermon known as "Fadakiyyah," says:
"Waslat al-Arham Munsa’ah fi al-‘Umr" —
which means, "Maintaining kinship ties prolongs life."
Maintaining kinship ties holds a high status and great value in religious culture. The benefits and blessings of this noble Islamic practice are numerous and abundant. In this part of her speech, she refers to one of the important features of this tradition, which is the lengthening of lifespan, a subject that will be further explored below.
The literary and rhetorical nuances hidden in the words of this sentence deserve separate study and analysis. However, in this writing, aside from the literary aspects, we focus on the topic itself — the effect of maintaining kinship ties on longevity.
"Arham" refers to a group of people who share a common womb or lineage; that is, those whose ancestry or descent originates from one womb. Within this group, the members are kin to one another — such as uncles, aunts, cousins, nephews, grandchildren, grandparents — all connected by the same womb or related to it. The general relationship among these people is broader than that of uncles, aunts, or siblings; it is a relationship of kinship or, more simply, familial ties.
God Almighty has legislated special rulings concerning this important issue, some of which are obligatory, some forbidden, and others disliked. A large portion also falls under recommended acts.
The effects and benefits of maintaining kinship touch many aspects of human life. Some of these are material and observable in this world, while others are great rewards and blessings that will be granted to the one who maintains kinship in the hereafter. Conversely, those who sever kinship ties will face unpleasant consequences in the afterlife. Maintaining or cutting off kinship ties will be accounted for in the hereafter.
From the very first days of placing a deceased person in the grave, they are questioned about their kinship ties. One source of their happiness in the grave is the kinship ties they maintained, which leads to their salvation. But if, God forbid, they severed kinship, they will suffer torment for it. Thus, in many afterlife situations, a person must answer for their kinship relationships.
In her sermon, Lady Fatimah (peace be upon her) reveals one of the worldly effects of this sacred duty: the extension of human life, which is a direct consequence of maintaining kinship.
As mentioned, maintaining kinship has worldly effects. Many common knots in life are untied through kinship ties. Common economic and social problems, physical and psychological illnesses, and many other issues can arise as a result of severed kinship.
Lady Fatimah (peace be upon her) considers maintaining kinship as a cause of "prolonging" life and reminds Muslims of the importance of this sacred duty.
Human lifespan is the period allotted to a person to live in this world. The length of this period is not the same for all people and is predetermined for each individual — for example, twenty years, forty years, seventy years, and so forth. When this term ends, the person will not live a moment more or less. However, as Lady Fatimah (peace be upon her) says, a person's lifespan will be extended by maintaining kinship ties. On the other hand, neglecting or severing kinship can shorten life.
Therefore, maintaining kinship changes divine decree by adding to a person's years and expanding the limits and framework of their lifespan. Naturally, this extension cannot cause a person to be born earlier than their time, but it delays death.
Lady Fatimah’s mention of lifespan extension is valuable in that the longer believers live, the more opportunities they have to perform good deeds. Even an additional hour can be an opportunity to do charity or advise someone, along with other spiritual benefits.
Thus, if someone spends their life in the right path and continually seeks God’s pleasure, any extension of their life will raise their rank in the hereafter and enrich their record of deeds.
It is narrated about a scholar that a young man came to him expressing his intent to commit suicide. The young man said he confided only in the scholar about his decision and did not tell anyone else so no one could stop him.
The scholar said, "I have a request from you."
The young man immediately replied, "If your request is that I don’t commit suicide, I refuse."
The scholar said, "No, I have another request."
The young man said, "Okay, tell me whatever it is."
The scholar asked, "Will you keep your promise?"
The young man said, "Yes, I will."
The scholar said, "You plan to commit suicide tomorrow at 10 o’clock. I ask you to postpone it by one hour and do it at 11 instead."
The young man hesitated for a moment and asked, "What benefit does this have for you?"
The scholar replied, "Since you have made your decision, living one more hour will not harm you."
The young man agreed and came back the next day at 11. He was somewhat doubtful about his decision. That one hour caused him to reflect a bit and reduced, even slightly, the certainty of his decision. With the scholar's guidance and further reflection, the young man gradually changed his mind and abandoned the suicide.
That single sentence by the scholar was immensely beneficial and saved a young life. The young man then lived on and did many good deeds. Without the scholar's advice and guidance, the young man might have destroyed himself in that critical moment when his emotions overwhelmed him.
The one-hour delay the scholar requested saved the young man. Even one extra hour of life can bring much good for the person and others. Therefore, a long life is desirable and fitting for righteous people.
The Consequences of Severing Kinship Ties
Just as maintaining kinship ties is recommended and praised, severing kinship ties is strongly disapproved of and prohibited in the narrations of the infallible Imams (peace be upon them). Maintaining kinship ties can extend a person’s remaining life by three to thirty years, while severing these ties can reduce a thirty-year lifespan down to three years. In other words, a person’s predetermined lifespan can be lengthened or shortened depending on whether they maintain or sever kinship ties.
We know that predetermined matters are not easily changed; therefore, the length of a person's life is influenced by the value they give to kinship in their life. The unethical behavior of severing kinship ties is very effective in shortening a person’s lifespan. There are many narrations and stories regarding this issue.
One famous narration relates to Imam Musa al-Kadhim (peace be upon him). This narration, supported by authentic chains of transmission, dates back to the time when Imam Musa al-Kadhim was hiding in Mecca to escape the harm of Mansur al-Dawaniqi, the Abbasid Caliph.
After Mansur al-Dawaniqi had Imam Ja'far al-Sadiq (peace be upon him) martyred, he decided to completely eliminate the Prophet’s family. He investigated to find out who Imam al-Sadiq had appointed as his successor. Eventually, by placing spies everywhere, he learned that Imam Musa ibn Ja'far (peace be upon him) was his chosen successor among his brothers, so he decided to eliminate him at all costs. To achieve this, he secretly sent someone to Medina to assassinate the Imam covertly.
It is certain that God has given the Imams the power and ability for any miracle, but they were not to use their miraculous power everywhere and only employed it when necessary. Imam Musa al-Kadhim, knowing of Mansur’s plan by God’s help, also recognized the person assigned to carry out the plan — whose identity and history are mentioned in historical records. To prevent Mansur from carrying out his intention, the Imam left Medina secretly at night without people knowing where he was going.
Without informing anyone, he went to Mecca and settled in a house unknown to others. To avoid recognition, he did not leave the house during the day and only went to the Grand Mosque at night for worship and visitation. Mansur controlled the Islamic state at that time, and his agents were everywhere. In such a suffocating atmosphere, Imam Musa al-Kadhim remained hidden in Mecca anonymously.
During this short period, only a few close companions knew the Imam’s hiding place. These few would visit him and convey the problems of the Shi'a, and the Imam would resolve their issues through them.
One day, the Imam told one of his companions: “Tomorrow, go to the Grand Mosque; you will see a man with these characteristics,” and described the person. He also told him what the man would ask and how to respond.
The man was brought to the Imam as described. When the Imam saw him, he asked, “Where is your brother?” The man said, “My brother and I came to you together, but on the way at such-and-such village — perhaps the village name was not initially mentioned but the Imam later told him — my brother stayed there and I came on.” The Imam said, “Do you want to tell me what happened, or shall I tell you?” The man said, “You tell me.”
The Imam said: “You and your brother were together until you reached that place, then over some issue, you had a disagreement, fought, and insulted each other. Thus, both of you severed kinship ties.” It is worth noting that severing kinship can be one-sided or mutual; sometimes one party severs it but the other does not. Sometimes both sever ties, as in this case.
The Imam said: “Because you severed ties, it was decreed that your deaths would be near and you would both die soon. Your brother would die shortly after reaching his city and homeland, which happened as predicted. Later, when asked about his brother, he recounted exactly what the Imam had foretold, which came true.”
The Imam continued: “Your death was also near, and you were supposed to die soon, but it seems you visited an aunt on the way. This act of maintaining kinship extended your life and delayed your death.”
Some narrations add that the man asked the Imam how many years were added to his life, and the Imam replied, “Twenty years.” Other narrations report that the narrator of this story would visit Mecca every year and would see that brother for twenty years but never again in the twenty-first year.
This narration contains valuable truths about both the positive side, i.e., maintaining kinship ties, and the negative side, i.e., severing them. Both brothers lost years of their lives due to severing ties — their deaths were near. One died, and the other’s life was extended by twenty years because of maintaining kinship.
The effect of maintaining kinship ties on a person’s lifespan is an established fact reflected in many narrations of the Imams (peace be upon them).
Beyond the religious ruling on severing kinship and its effect on lifespan, maintaining kinship has many worldly benefits. Simply living longer can allow a person to perform good deeds and worship more. During this extended life, a person might solve someone’s problems or perform acts of charity that increase their success in the hereafter.
Therefore, one must not be indifferent toward their relatives — uncles, aunts, cousins, and both close and distant kin should be given attention and care.
The ways of maintaining kinship vary. Sometimes it is financial support by giving money or gifts. Sometimes it is visiting and checking on relatives. Even a simple greeting or a phone call counts as maintaining kinship.
Hence, it is appropriate to pay attention to kinship in diverse ways and never sever ties with relatives and acquaintances.
As mentioned, severing kinship (which is like quarrelling or estrangement) can be one-sided or mutual. So, even if someone separates from us, we should not separate from them. This requires strong will and determination and leads to happiness for oneself and others in this world and the hereafter.
May we be able to maintain kinship ties with all our relatives and acquaintances.
Blessings and peace be upon our Master and Prophet Muhammad and his pure family.
